Married... with Epilepsy: Tiffany & Chris - Part One

Chris (Left) and Tiffany (Right)

By: Tiffany

Introduce yourselves!

My name is Tiffany Kairos. I’m married to Chris Kairos, a graphic designer and musician. I am the founder of The Epilepsy Network (TEN). To check out The Epilepsy Network (TEN), visit FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/theepilepsynetwork and the WEBSITE: http://theepilepsynetwork.com

How long have you two been together?

Chris and I have been together for a little over 3 years. Married August ’08. We dated for about 6 months.

When did you first develop Epilepsy?

I developed epilepsy in December of 2008. Four months after being married to Chris.

How did Epilepsy change your outlook on life?

After developing epilepsy, I’ve begun to look at the world around me and myself as a whole in an entirely different light. More delicately and more kindly. Realizing that we all, including myself are not super-human but simply “human”.

How did Chris, your husband, react to knowing you had Epilepsy?

My husband found out that I had epilepsy after my car accident/seizure. He reacted like a superhero in my eyes. He loved me even stronger. He’s my protector. And he always makes sure to watch out for me in all that I do.  At first my personal feelings having epilepsy were anger and frustration. Depression and brokenness.

Has Chris ever seen you have a seizure? When was the first time?

The first time my husband saw me have a seizure….I was sitting at the computer and he was on the bed talking to his little brother, when I instantly lost vision and started to feel woozy. I immediately began crying out “I can’t see! I can’t see help me!” And he automatically knew what was happening. I was scared out of my mind and slightly embarrassed. After having the seizure and regaining consciousness, he had told me that even though he knew what to do, he cried. And he prayed, rubbing my head and making sure I didn’t hurt myself.

What changes and precautions have you and Chris had to make due to your seizures?

As far as precautions go, we have a plan of action to immediately get me to the floor or to the bed, if I can make it on my own. If not, he offers to assist me. Ironically, he learned what to do, watching the Dr. Oz show just days prior to him witnessing my first seizure. I am extremely confident that he can take care of me.

Does Chris ever worry about you and your condition? How does this make you feel?

Yes Chris constantly worries about me having epilepsy. My feelings are extremely happy that he cares and doesn’t consider it a burden. Sometimes I want to tell him to relax a bit but I know that he just cares.

Do you feel that being married and having Epilepsy is any different than being married without having Epilepsy?

Having epilepsy and being married really doesn’t feel much different than when I didn’t have epilepsy. We just are more keen to making sure we’re healthy.

Is there anything that you dislike about having Epilepsy, as far as your marriage goes?

The dislikes are that there are some things that we can’t do like go places with flashing lights or we can’t share a glass of wine with each other. But I don’t really think about or worry about the dislikes.

Aside from the dislikes, do you think Epilepsy has made you and Chris stronger in any way?

Epilepsy has definitely made our love and bond so much stronger. Its made us realize that life is so fragile and that we need to cherish every moment we have.

Has anyone discriminated the two of you for the fact that you have Epilepsy?

As far as our marriage, no I’ve never had to deal with discrimination in regards to having epilepsy.

How would you feel if someone were to make fun of you for your Epilepsy?

Anyone who would crack jokes on me or anyone having epilepsy is a very uneducated person and it upsets me and I feel bad for that person. My husband as well.

Does Chris do anything to help you support your cause?

My husband has supported epilepsy by wearing purple ribbons and awareness pins, helping me to create my website/page/organization and he frequently speaks out about my condition and what I do.

Chris in The Epilepsy Network (TEN) Promo Picture

What changes have you made to your relationship because of Epilepsy?

My husband and I, going on 3 years have since given up smoking and drinking alcohol. I don’t drink. He drinks on rare occasion. We don’t go anywhere where there may be potentials to cause seizures. Such as clubs, Halloween houses etc.

Does Chris ever find himself upset that you have Epilepsy?

I wouldn’t say that Chris is upset that I have epilepsy. More like, empathetic towards my feelings and having the condition. He wants me to have a cure.

Do you ever get upset that you have Epilepsy?

There are rare occasions when I wish that I could just go back to being normal. But most of the time, I’m actually thankful for it because its caused me to become a better person. And it’s a constant reminder of how fragile life is.

If you had magical powers, and had the chance to get rid of your Epilepsy right now, would you?

No I wouldn’t get rid of my epilepsy because like I’d mentioned having it actually reminds me every day to take care of myself and to give of myself to others in all ways.

What do you think the biggest struggle is with being married and having Epilepsy?

I'd say the biggest struggle being married with epilepsy is always having to rely on others for things you used to be able to do when you want to have independence even when married.

What is the coolest thing about having a spouse who does not have Epilepsy?

I'd say the coolest thing is witnessing their strength and optimism.

What is the coolest thing about being married and having Epilepsy?

The coolest thing about being married and having epilepsy is showing that I am stronger than my diagnosis and that Im not a quitter.

If you could give advice to other couples like yourselves, what would that advice be?

If I could give advice to other couples such as myself and Chris, I would suggest strongly remembering the one vow “IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH” that they made at the alter. Love always like it were your last day. Love like crazy.

By: Tiffany Kairos
Founder - Administrator
The Epilepsy Network (TEN)