Not sure why, but everything is randomly getting stressful. As you can see, I had to cut my hair even shorter... Not really loving this hair at all. I feel and look like a guy. Hate to be negative, but that's all I see in the mirror. And I look identical to my brother. This is awful.
Decided to spend the night at my uncle's to take my mind off of things as much as I can. It helps to be busy so I am doing all I can. Regretting not bringing the Pepto Bismol because I totally have an ulcer from the stress. Probably that, and not sleeping lately. Everytime I fall asleep I wake up immediately thinking of the surgery. It's like anxiety controls my sleep now.
The thought of losing pieces of myself scares me... Especially pieces of my brain. I know they're not exactly working pieces, but even then. And knowing I'll wake up without sight in my right eye is making me want to puke. All I can do is pray right now.
Wish I had more positive words for everyone because I hate showing a frown. But I can't find a smile in me today. Maybe I'll find one tomorrow.
It will be okay and things will get better. I was 15 days in the hospital with my daughter who is now 33 years old and doing well, She had most of her right side removed and has some eyesight problems and small left hand tremors but loves life and would never take back what she went through because it was worth it. God Bless you and He will walk through this with you, Donna
ReplyDeleteHi Mandy,
ReplyDeleteI'm the mother of a 17 yr old with intractable epilepsy and your posts have given me such insight into what she has had to go through... Thanks for that.
Anyway, I know this is shallow and might not actually help but I have to say that I think you look GREAT in these pictures -- you've got an adorable face for a pixie cut and you look cool and artistic. Like a woman comfortable in her own skin -- which makes me think that this is exactly where you're heading...
You don't have to smile but please take that worry off your list of anxieties, okay?
Thinking of you,
Wendy (Canada)