It's Okay to Say It.

 

I think sometimes it's okay to say "I'm Done". My boyfriend always complains that he sees people writing those two words as a status on Facebook multiple times each day. I laugh at this because I see it a lot too whenever I log in. I'm pretty sure I've even said it once or twice. People all over the world are just "done". Done with relationships, done with school, done with their jobs, done with their families, or done with life in general.

But is being "done" bad? And what does it mean, anyway? In my interpretation, being done is basically saying "Forget this, I'm not putting up with this BEEP anymore!". And in my interpretation, I don't think it's bad to say. Sometimes it's just time to be done. I was told that in life there's a time and place for everything, and there's surely a time and place for "done". Even the most positive, kind people in this world have the right to say "I'm done," let some things go and just move on.

Sometimes being done is for the greater good. Getting rid of stress in your life. Avoiding unnecessary situations in the future. Getting more rest, losing less sleep. Bettering yourself and your attitude. No longer wasting your time.

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I've been a little stressed out trying to figure out why I am having all these seizures. It's not my usual hundred tiny seizures. It's more like 30 or 40 a day, but much more intense and frightening than the others were before. I'm in another state of mind and I feel almost like I'm near a tonic clonic each time one strikes. My thoughts get jumbled, my speech is backwards (literally) and I have this odd feeling in my sinus area. I'm taking all my medication on time, and I haven't missed a dose. Except for yesterday, of course. The pharmacy can never do anything right. But this has been going on for more than two weeks I believe.

Insomnia is not getting better, but I think it's worse due to the seizures during the day that cause me to have to rest. So each is affecting the other. I don't know what to do! I'm keeping my smile on because I have all these Easter baskets to make and classes to keep up with. It's just worrysome is all.

I ended up putting in my two weeks notice at work. I'm quitting my job. It's gotten to the point where I'm  waking up in the morning knowing that I'm just going to be coming home early, annoying my coworkers with my seizures. I can't stand to hear "You should just go home" in a rude tone or "Mandy is sick "again" guys... You know what that means..."" one more time. (Yes, those are real words that were really said) I don't feel like being left on the floor without someone next to me who cares about me and can take care of me. I want to be home where I am safe and respected. Not to mention that I just need rest.

I actually went to work to find my seizure chart laying on the desk in the back room. It was taped to the wall. I figured that maybe it got really wet (it was taped up on the wall across from the sink) but it was in good condition. Must have fallen off and no one bothered to put it back up. I think it was a little rude not to. I checked the other day and it was gone completely. I find that interesting... Threw it away? Nice.

Still contemplating whether I should find a different job right away, or just relax for a month or two. I hate the idea of not actually being at work bringing in some sort of income to pay my few bills that I pay. Not to mention, having some money to buy my necessities and toiletries. I'll have enough to hold me over two months but I don't want to start on empty. Growing up is hard, isn't it? Looks like ramen noodles and tap water for a few weeks!

Well, that's all for today. Everyone have a beautiful weekend.

Mandy AKA EpilepsyBlogger

P.S. - I'M DONE.