NOTE: I hope what I say in this post makes any sense - it has been a long day. Missed therapy so I had to take an extra long walk that has worn me out, yet I cannot sleep. But I thank The Lord nonetheless!!!
I have gotten many e-mails from folks going through hard times. Preparing for brain surgery, preparing their child for brain surgery, medications are not working, having too many seizures, having trouble sleeping, issues with health insurance, losing their jobs, relationships falling apart due to having a partner that dislikes their condition, and so on. I will continue to pray for The Lord to help you all through these times. I know they are hard.
We may not have gone through the exact same things but we have both definitely experienced those periods of the rough waves hitting our ship in Galilee. I think that many times those waves never truly get stopped by Jesus, as He often wants us to trust Him and lay down by his side until the storm calms. Anyhow, if we asked Jesus to calm the storm (and if He did calm it) could truly block something He may want us to see, strengthen by, or a gift of the ability to help others that are struggling with what we are as well.
So if it helps, please do not be afraid to feel whatever it is that you are feeling. If it is tears, it is tears - and it is okay to cry. I cried far more than folks will ever know or understand due to this surgery. The most intense emotions our Lord has ever allowed me to feel. Some nights I even cried for hours on end. Some night I cried only a few minutes. But looking back, The Lord was definitely showing me something beautiful. That I am still breathing on His blessing of Earth, and still able to cry as a gift to help me through hard times as it gets me past the hurt on my shoulders and in my minds, and pushes me closer to Him. If anything, it also helped me truly appreciate all the smiles I was ever blessed with.
As far as the hurts, I would feel such a pain during the nights that for the first time, I could feel the heart in my chest and the heavy breaths I took. One by one, in and out, for hours. Thoughts I never had rushed through my mind, and I wished they never existed. I felt such an amount of pain and hurt that I asked the Lord "How will I ever live again? How will I live this life? Will I forever feel these hurts this intensely? Where have You gone, Father? I have seen You but are You no longer here?"
What was His answer? Well, when I awoke the next mornings, so did the sun. It rose until it filled my eyes to show me that The Lord truly did bless me, and truly did stay by my side until my storm passed. Yes, it was only one of many storms that there will be, but it was his proof that He will never leave me alone. Just as He promised when I stood before Him during my surgery. Many folks only look for a removal of an earthly problem. Not that there are no healings - as I was blessed with one. But sometimes the problems are to teach us, or help us one day help another who suffers the way we have. Example: Being an Epilepsy advocate like you and I and many beautiful others.
And if you need to sleep, sleep. And pray that God helps you rest and that He can speak with you in your dreams. Many people I tell to try this do not believe me and never do it, but the ones who have saw great things. It won't always happen the first, second, or third night - maybe even the first or second week or month. God speaks to us when we are ready, or when he feels it is best. And I definitely understand that post-brain surgery sleep is not always one folks can achieve without medication or simply time. So please give this time. I promise you that The Lord is right next to you and you are not alone.
I hope that somehow these words have helped calm you during these hard days - and if not calmed, at least helped you understand that the oceans cannot will not always be this rough, the skies will not always be this dark and rainy, and the sun will not always hide behind the clouds. I would write more this evening, but it is off to bed for me now. The feeling of exhaustion has been given to me finally by our God, and I am so thankful as tonight I did not sleep. What's amazing is that I am tired this early without any sleeping pill, and not a sad or negative thought is able to touch my mind. The Lord has covered my brain in His Blood! Not to mention that although I cannot read anymore, I have been given the gift of writing so I can continue to share my story with all who need to hear it. Could never say enough thanks to our awesome God!
Nonetheless, stay tuned to the blog as I will soon be releasing my story of seeing The Lord and the gates of Heaven for the very first time during surgery. It was an amazing experience that I know was not a dream for a million reasons, and also because my brain was put to sleep in a way that I could not be able to dream for a week from the medications. The things our God told me and showed me were beautiful and so real that I could never doubt His existence, His power, or His love again in my gift of my life.
God bless you all.
I wish you rest and comfort as you wait for the storm to pass.
Say a prayer, and tell our Father that you wish to lay close to Him until the sea calms and the sunlight returns.
With that faith in Him alone, you will see the sun so soon, I promise you.
Have faith!
Goodnight,
EpilepsyBlogger
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P.S. - Please be sure to give at least $5 or more (if you are able, of course) to my fundraiser. I truly need some help right now as I am not only in debt and have to pay off two brain surgeries, but I also need several therapies and more (see below). I am truly thankful in so many ways that I could never explain! Also, if you cannot donate, please share with friends who may be interested in helping! God bless and thank you to all who can help! CLICK HERE TO DONATE: http://
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EpilepsyBlogger HAS ONLY RAISED 1% BRAIN SURGERY / RECOVER DONATIONS :( !!!
To ALL of EB's AWESOME supporters: "Thank you so much for donations! Each donation will help me:
- Pay for my two brain surgeries.
- Afford therapy that helps me restore depth perception, walking normally and faster, and teach left and right body parts to work together again.
- Afford doctors & therapists who will help me restore my reading ability which was lost during brain surgery.
- Afford appointments with eye doctors in order to determine how much vision has been lost, if glasses are needed, etc.
- Afford appointments with my brain surgeon and Epileptologist.
- Afford my medication on top of all these other things!
Donations will NOT be wasted and will truly help me get back to living life and helping other folks BEAT EPILEPSY!!! All donations are appreciated 100%, even if you couldn't give as much as you wanted to. So God bless and know that I am SO THANKFUL!!!" - EB (Mandy)
For those who have not donated and would like to, visit this link: http://
Also, make sure to LIKE + SHARE this photo w/ friends and family asking them to donate and share! We still need 99% MORE donations!!!
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HERE'S a link to a blog about the surgery which contains lots of pictures amongst the other hundreds of blogs she was once able to write!!!: http://
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Epilepsy is a chronic condition of the brain. It is characterised by seizures that do not seem to have an obvious cause.The condition is very common; about 50 million people have epilepsy worldwide. People with epilepsy are sometimes called epileptic, but it is the fit or seizure that is "epileptic". Many people have died from seizures.
ReplyDeleteI agree and i like your statement i will try my level best to help you
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