I can finally sleep!

Hey everyone! Today I'm feeling a lot better than I've been feeling, so I made it a point to get online and give a little update while I have the time. As you all know I made a big switch from one of my medications to another one. (Vimpat to Felbatol). Basically the withdrawals were horrible (they are still a little bad actually...). I had extreme anxiety attacks, tremor, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, migraine, and probably the worst case of insomnia that even I have heard of. The vomiting was crazy... I always thought that the term "projectile vomiting" was something that was only in movies until I got off of Vimpat. I know this is totally TMI, but I literally threw up "at" my wall. Thankfully we had water resistant paint in the bathroom and I was able to clean it up. I was used to throwing up almost once daily while on Vimpat, but this vomiting was several times a day and just horrific. I thought I would suffocate or choke because there was no letting up.

The nausea and loss of appetite is still apparent. I lost 10 lbs, which I would imagine was all water-weight since I can't tell except that my pants are a little loose and my face is less puffy. I have actually had to set an alarm on my phone to remind myself to eat 6 times a day or else I literally forget to eat because I have no appetite for food whatsoever. I have had to also make myself eat some sort of meat once a day because I have been looking almost green/gray in the face. Food pretty much tastes like cardboard to me now, and it's depressing because food is a great passion to me.

The insomnia was the worst side effect of them all. I got 3 hours of sleep at the most each night. This led to me being extremely exhausted, both physically and mentally. I had panic attacks because I couldn't sleep and I felt like I was going completely out of my mind. I started to almost dream while I was awake, which is by far the weirdest thing I have ever experienced... okay, maybe it wasn't the weirdest. But it was definitely crazy. The lack of sleep led to me having 6 of the more serious seizures on two different occasions. I was almost thankful for this because I was able to be tranquilized, and I slept for 2 days straight. I finally got my sleeping pattern under control after forcing myself awake for entire days at a time.

My visual seizures have gone from hundreds to about ten a day, however they are much longer. They last anywhere from a minute to sometimes 5 minutes. If any of you readers are new, I consider auras and visual seizures two different things. Auras for me are when I get weird tastes in my mouth and see colors. The visual seizures are a little more complex and involve hallucinations along with symptoms of a simple-partial seizure. My auras have increased a lot. Throughout the day I often get sensations in my sinus area that are a bit tingly, and a windex type of taste. I have also had an abundance of absence seizures and I have literally been running into walls and I fell out of the shower again. I think I have also been having the type of seizures where you start randomly walking around, but I can't confirm this because no one sees me. I think this because sometimes before I run into a wall I wasn't actually walking anywhere, I would just be standing.

I decided that since I have been this ill, I needed to quit my job. I didn't quit completely, but I am going on a medical LOA (leave of absence) until May, when school is over. This way I can rest and focus on getting better. I am actually really sad about this because I love my job so much and it was my last way to socialize since I had to drop out of school and start on home schooling. I guess that work can wait a while though. I'm a little angry because I have a stupid $200 bill that I need to pay off and I have like $65 sitting in my account at the moment. Hopefully I can find some way to pay that bill off before I start ruining my credit.

After all this bad news, I do have a little good news. At least I think so. When I get those auras, that usually means a Grand Mal is on its way. Every time I start having auras I have been using my magnet and they literally stop for a good period of time. I would call this a bit of success since I haven't had an actual Grand Mal yet. Just trying to be positive, I guess.

Blegh! Well I guess I'm in a bit of a rut but I'm trying to get better as fast as I can. Every time I complain I think about a little girl I saw in my doctor's office who was in a wheelchair and headgear because of her seizures. She had a little tiara glued to the top of her headgear and she just had the biggest smile. It just makes me feel so weak for saying that I don't feel good. Somebody always has it worse, and a lot of the time those ones are the strongest. I mean I don't want to overestimate the health that I have because it isn't wonderful, but I am blessed to be able to walk around without headgear.

Anyway, I have to go give my puppy a bath, submit some homework and get ready to pack up and stay with my cousins this weekend. We are getting tile installed in our home so I need somewhere to rest without the noise. I hope you all have a great weekend and I wish you the best of health. God bless!