It's Been Quite a While

It's been quite a while since I have written.  Since my brain surgery last February it has been difficult to process thoughts at a decent pace. Worse than that, it has been extremely difficult to read. I am still hardly able to do so and it has almost been a year of re-training.

However, I have come very far. Compared to before surgery, having 30 to 100+ seizures a day, I now have only had a handful. And I don't mean "per day"... I mean since surgery. Definitely an amazing blessing and that is for sure. Plus - my hair is growing back beautifully!!! 

I am now only taking Trileptal and Onfi for my seizures. I was taken off of Felbatol entirely - which was a challenge to do, but I did it! - and I will hopefully be coming off of Onfi in about 3 months. 

My Psychologist that works with my Epileptologist has decided to put me on Pristiq. I was not entirely happy about taking this drug at first. The thought of being stuck on more medications had me enraged. But when I started to take the pill, I honestly felt my happy emotions as clear as day for the first time since surgery. When prior to taking Pristiq, I constantly had mixed emotions or don't feel emotion at all with people I loved. 

I was able to get off of this medication for quite a while until about a month ago. My brain had major difficulty with depression out of nowhere. We aren't sure why, but it could be one of 3 things:

1) I was put on an acne medication that had side effects of serious depression. The doctor never told me this and I was not aware until I had been taking it a month (which is when the depression hit).

2) I came down with a bad stomach virus. This happened at the same time as the issue with acne meds. I am not a cold-catcher but this one germ was too powerful for my body to beat. I lost 17 lbs. of weight in a week and could hardly down water. I would get anxious and intensely sad just before I would puke or during the chills and sweating episodes.

3) My depression may simply be seasonal. It's been a cloudy season, and December hardly gave me any sunshine. Rainy days made me feel down. Days when it was too cold to go outside made me so anxious and depressed. All at once.

Anyhow, all three of these happened at literally the same time. So there really was no way to know for sure. My doctor have me a low dosage of Xanax to last me for 7 days until the flu bug cleared up. 

I have overcome a lot of my issues in many ways. From daily exercise to making art when emotions are difficult. Taking a nap to clear my mind, to great apps that help with anxiety and SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) which is also known as Seasonal Depression or "Winter Blues". Drinking delicious teas as I sit out in the sunshine for 30 minutes a day has been the best, by far.

Anyhow, it is 3:00 AM and I really should be in bed. Just wanted to update you all and let you know that I will be writing more and more. I am slowly becoming EB again. It just takes time and patience!!!