How to Pray for Your Loved One with Epilepsy

James 5:14-15 "Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to PRAY over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up."

Epilepsy is a tricky illness to have, and extremely unfortunate because of that. I don't even need to tell you all that fact, because I'm positive you already know. First of all, it is an invisible illness for the most part, meaning that it cannot be seen by simply looking at someone (unless, of course, they are having a seizure while you are looking at them). Secondly, it currently has no cure for  many people (30% and growing). If surgery isn't an option for you, or medications don't work, your heart breaks not knowing what to do. Third of all, Epilepsy isn't always able to be pinpointed to a specific area of the brain, making treatment almost impossible. If doctors don't know where the seizures are coming from, they don't know how to treat you. All they can do is hand you medication and hope for the best... And that's all you can do.

...Or is it?

How Your Positivity Benefits Your Loved One's Health

Before we get into prayer and how important it is to have for your loved one who suffers from Epilepsy, I want to talk about positivity. Not only should your loved one be positive, but you should be positive for your loved one. If you find yourself saying "John hasn't been healthy at all lately. He's getting way worse." your child, in this example "John" will truly feel and think that he is getting worse. This can push John to become stressed, depressed, and negative.

I came across this great article called "A Mother's Positivity Helps Her Child to Overcome a Mental Illness". Now, I don't see Epilepsy as a mental illness, so take note that this study was done with mothers whom had children with Schizophrenia - not Epilepsy. However, it is an equally frightening illness and the conclusion of this study are amazing.  

Methodology

• The study was conducted over a period of 18 months on 129 mothers (55 years or older) of adult children with schizophrenia. Mothers completed an in-home interview and a questionnaire. Their children, who agreed to participate, also answered the questionnaire.
• There were three appraisals: A self-appraisal (how the mentally ill person perceives himself),  a mother’s appraisal (how a mother perceives her mentally ill child) and reflected appraisal (how a mentally ill person thinks about how his mother perceives him).
• 22 items (for each of the appraisals) were recorded on a 7-point scale, with higher numbers indicating more stigmatized appraisals.
• Life satisfaction was assessed using 22 items on a 7-point scale (1- terrible to 7 – delighted). The participants rated their perceptions about living arrangements, social relationships, leisure activities, finances, employment, safety, and health.
• Self-efficacy score was measured by the average score on an 8-item scale. The items were coded on a 1 to 4 scale with higher numbers indicating a greater degree of self-efficacy.

Data/Results/Key findings

• Increased symptoms were associated with increased stigmatized mothers’ appraisals, and stigmatized reflected appraisals. (The patients whose mothers were more negative, and saw their children to be more ill had children with worse symptoms.)
• Increased life satisfaction levels were noted with less stigmatized mothers’ appraisals and less stigmatized reflected appraisals. (Mothers who had more positive views on life satisfaction with their children had less negative self appraisals and reflected appraisals.)
• Life satisfaction levels had a significant effect on the self-appraisals.
• Higher self-efficacy was seen with less stigmatized mothers’ appraisals and less stigmatized reflected appraisals. The effect of self-efficacy on stigmatized self-appraisals was very significant. (Mothers whom had a more positive outlook on themselves and their lives had a higher self-efficacy, also known as the ability to hold perseverance and reach goals with both themselves and their sick children.)

Conclusion

Less stigmatized mothers’ and reflected appraisals results in diminished symptoms, higher self-satisfaction and a better quality of life in mentally ill persons. Self-efficacy and life satisfaction levels are influenced by stigmatized self-appraisals. Stigmatized self-conceptions lead to a sense of lack of control, and social exclusion which leads to diminished life quality. These results suggest that the recovery process is a social-psychological process and stigmatized appraisals slow recovery from mental illness. What other people think about mentally ill persons affect the beliefs and actions of the mentally ill, which in turn shapes the outcome of the recovery process.

Read more at FYI Living: http://www.fyiliving.com/research/a-mothers-positivity-helps-her-child-to-overcome-mental-illness/#ixzz25isOnj3v

Coming from a patient with Epilepsy (myself), I can easily agree with this study in many ways. I have noticed on my own that I seem to be more self-efficient and less symptomatic when my family and/or loved ones are more supportive and have positive attitudes toward me and toward the idea of me having Epilepsy. During days when their attitudes are negative toward me or toward my illness, not only do I find my own attitude turning negative with theirs, but I also feel a major amount of stress due to those thoughts, resulting in a higher seizure count (not to mention, more severe seizures). Stress is the #1 trigger of seizures, and negativity is what brings it on.

We want to keep in mind that this study was only done with mothers and their children, so we must imagine how other people play a role in their loved one's lives. This includes fathers, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, best friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives and soon-to-be's. Especially if a person is closer to their (example) husband compared to their mother. If you see yourself as someone your loved one relies on most, they need to see this positivity from you more than anyone. They attitude you hold with a loved one who has Epilepsy can make or break their day.

So how can we be positive with the ones we love more often?

- Avoid unnecessary fights or arguments: Yes, maybe your daughter didn't throw in the laundry this morning. I'm sure to any parent, this looks like pure indolence. But if I might say that I personally put down all activities until that feeling of "Oh no, a seizure is coming any minute now!" goes away. Because even the slightest exertion of force on a dish or a basket of laundry can bring it out. Try to understand that things aren't always what they seem to be. Instead of immediately yelling, ask how they are feeling. "Mandy, are you feeling okay today? I noticed you hadn't done the laundry and I was worried maybe you're not feeling too well." If they're not feeling well they will tell you, and you avoided stressing them out with yelling. If they feel okay they will notice your kindness and will probably say "Oh crap, I forgot! Sorry mum!".

- Be as positive as possible about the state of their illness, especially after a seizure: We all know seizures "look bad". They are terrifying to watch, and even more terrifying to have. However, the last thing we want to hear when we've come out of a seizure is how bad it looked or how you had to rush out of work and miss an important meeting to take care of us. Or how you'll probably get fired for having to leave, or how we'll probably have to quit our own jobs, etc. Those statements make US feel bad. They make us feel like we are in the way of your life, and we should never have to feel that. We cannot help the fact that we have seizures and until there's a cure you should love us the way we are. I have seen how I cause my parents stress, and it has been all too easy for them to push the stress back on me. I can't even count the amount of times I've been yelled at for being sick, or have had hospital bills thrown in my face. Once again, the stress from hearing this causes more seizures which is never good for anyone.

- When the doctor gives bad news, give us good news: Doctors unfortunately have that sad responsibility of giving the bad news to their patients. If anyone else is like me, the stress from that bad news is enough to send us into seizures for days. When you are at that appointment with your loved one, or when you are meeting up with them afterward to talk about it, be their good news. You don't necessarily have to give "news," but at least be positive. Say something like "Yeah, well remember the last time he told you news like that and everything ended up okay?" or "You're in my prayers and God is going to take care of this mess." And be sure to remind us if the "bad news" is actually good news. For example, if we are getting brain surgery but we're so scared that it seems like bad news, remind us how successful so many people are from their brain surgeries. Don't let us forget that we are in this to find a cure.

- Don't let us give up on ourselves: When you hear "I give up. I just give up." or "I'm tired of this, I can't take it anymore." That is your que to jump in and be a best friend. Grab a $1.99 RedBox movie and some popcorn and put together a movie night, or just find some way to take our mind off of the sadness and the stress. I shouldn't have to mention it again, but this is so often overlooked - Stress is the #1 cause of MORE SEIZURES. We don't need ANY!

- Speak positively about us to others, both in front of us and away from us: Say only positive things. Tell others "Haley is doing a lot better than she was and I am happy to say that." even if Haley had a seizure a week ago. This gives Haley hope and a positive attitude. Imagine telling someone how sick Haley has been, and then having that person say "Hey Haley. I'm sorry to hear you're so sick. Your father told me all about it." Maybe Haley thought she was doing better? And now that she heard how sick she was, she will start to believe it.

All of that leads us to our next way to be positive, and in my family and my life it is the most important one. That is to pray for us. When people start to talk negatively about my illness or even mention my seizures, I usually stop them and say "Don't worry about it - Just pray for me. God has this under control." It's my little way of benefitting the both of us, and shutting up before the negativity even comes out of their mouths. Prayer is such a powerful tool in our lives, and it's FREE. Doesn't even cost $1.99 like that RedBox movie! The only problem is that so many people nowadays say they don't know were to start or even how to pray.

Psalm 107:18-22 "They couldn’t stand the thought of food, and they were knocking on death’s door. “LORD, help!” they cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, snatching them from the door of death. Let them praise the LORD for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done for them. Let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving and sing joyfully about his glorious acts."

I used to laugh when people told me "I don't even know how to pray". I have always grown up in a home where we pray every single day when we wake up, before all of our meals, and before dinner. So praying, to me, is common sense and an everyday part of my life. And I guess I always assumed others did this as well, but I've found out throughout the years (especially this year) that people do not do this anymore. So I would like to take this time to give you a prayer I wrote last night that you can pray each day for your loved one who is ill with Epilepsy. You can pray this alone, or pray it together with them. Remember that the more people, the more powerful the prayer!

Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

Prayer for Your Loved One with Epilepsy

Dear Holy Father,

I come to You today, humbly and in love, to confess

Your Holy Word concerning the great power of Your healing.

Someone whom I love very much, (Enter Name of Loved One),

suffers from a terrible illness in which only You can heal.

Lord, You are the highest of the high, and no mountan

is too high for Your children to climb with You on their side.

It is written in Your Holy Word that Jesus Himself

took our infirmities and bore our sicknesses.

Therefore, Father, because I worship and reverence You,

I have the assurance of Your Holy Word that the angel of the Lord

encamps around (Enter Name of Loved One Here)

and delivers them from every evil work.

This sickness, also called Epilepsy, is NOT of your doing, Lord.

With this knowledge I know that no evil shall fall upon (Enter Name of Loved One),

and no more sickness shall be allowed into

(Enter Name of Loved One's) dwelling or place of rest.

Let the Holy Spirit abide in (Enter Name of Loved One),

and deliver them perfect soundness of mind and wholeness in body and spirit.

Touch (Enter Name of Loved One) with Your healing hand, Father.

Touch their brain, Lord, and restore it to perfect health.

Calm the pain (Enter Name of Loved One) feels and let it not return.

Remove these seizures from (Enter Name of Loved One's) body that torture them constantly.

Bless and heal (Enter Name of Loved One) from their brain,

all the way down to the marrow of their bones.

Restore them to perfect health so they may glorify Your Holy Name.

Please give myself and (Enter Name of Loved One) the gift of the Holy Spirit,

and bless both of our tongues so that we know what to pray for in Your Holy Name.

Let the Holy Spirit pray for both of us

and pray the words that our mouths cannot utter,

especially the cries of our hearts, Lord.

I thank You, Father, for the blessing of another day on this Earth.

I thank You, Lord, for all of my loved ones, especially (Enter Name of Loved One).

I thank You for giving me a mouth capable of this healing prayer

and I acknowledge that it is only because of You, Holy Father,

that this prayer has the ability to heal.

Thank You for blessing me with a heart that is capable of love, Lord,

and help me to continue to love as You wish me to love.

Thank You, my Lord and Savior, for Your divine healing of (Enter Name of Loved One)

and I forever hold fast to Your Holy Word.

Amen.

Praying in both hope and faith is important. Many people pray in hope that "maybe if God feels like it he will heal my son". But God really wants to see us pray in FAITH, knowing that He is God and that it shall be done. He tells us in Matthew 21:21 "Jesus replied, I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done."

People say they never see miracles anymore as much as they used to, or as much as they read about in the bible. The reason for this is simply because we are foolish people who live by sight. We have to "see it to believe it". However, when it comes to the Lord and his power, we must live by faith. In 2 Corinthians 5:7 we are told "We live by faith, not by sight." So follow the Word of the Lord and have faith that it will be done. Don't follow the ways of man by not believing miracles exist or that prayers are not always answered. 1 Corinthians 2:5 "So that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." Show Him your strong faith in His Holy Word and He will show you the power of His gift, prayer.

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