When Crying is Good, and When Crying is Bad

Me, above crying during a stressful night due to PTSD and depression.

Some see it as a sign of weakness, others see it as a healthy part of life. Crying is a natural process of our bodies and emotions. There are several reasons why crying is good, but how much crying is... too much?

I chose this topic, because many common side effects among Epileptics, and even perfectly healthy people worldwide suffer from stages of depression. Whether they last lifelong, or just come and go from time to time. Hormones, medications, stressors, and... just about anything can cause depression in a person. Sometimes it can be all of the above at once. Depression doesn't always cause tears, but many people do find themselves crying constantly or crying over the smallest things.

It is always important to be aware of your own feelings, and the feelings of others. Sometimes we have to stop and evaluate what we are going through, or we can never help ourselves. So in this blog, we will go over reasons why crying can be good, and when you might be crying too much.

When is crying good, and why?

During stressful times: This can go both ways, but if you find yourself crying when you're stressed, it's not such a bad thing. Many therapists encourage people to cry when they feel the need, because crying actually lowers stress. You will notice that once the tears break free, you might find yourself forgetting what upset you to begin with. This is because tears release the chemicals built up in the body when you are stressed, like the endorphins leucine-enkaphalin and prolactin.

After the loss of a loved one: It is a natural part of the emotional healing process to cry after the loss of a loved one. Some people do not cry at all, although it is encouraged to try. Crying releases the feelings we find hard to express or understand, and helps us cope and heal after traumatic events. As John Bradshaw writes in his bestseller Home Coming, “All these feelings need to be felt. We need to stomp and storm; to sob and cry; to perspire and tremble.”

When our eyes are dry: This one doesn't deal directly why emotional crying, but you might find your eyes crying up a storm during allergy season or very dry days. These tears lubricate our eyes and actually make it possible for us to see.

Tears kill bacteria and flush toxins: Sometimes our eyes water when we have bacteria, dirt, or other nasty things in our eyes. Even the small amount of lubrication in our eyes without crying is constantly flushing and killing the bacteria we pick up at the supermarket, work, or school. One amazing reason why tears are definitely healthy!

When you feel sad: Sometimes you might find yourself trying to make yourself cry when you feel down and out. You may even feel silly or over-emotional by doing so, but it is completely normal and healthy. Like I've mentioned a few dozen times already, therapists encourage crying during stressful times. Keith Urban's song Tonight I Wanna Cry is a great example of this. This is especially important for those who maybe don't cry too often. Maybe they feel weird about crying in front of others, or just haven't sat down and had a good cry in a while - Whatever the reason, it's alright to induce crying every now and then.

During a movie or story: This can be one of the most embarrassing ways to find yourself crying, but we've all done it. Maybe it was when Owen Wilson had to put Marley down on Marley & Me, or during the happy ending of a romantic movie. It is perfectly okay to find yourself crying at these times. Seeing or thinking of different situations in life spark memories and emotions that make a person want to cry, and this is your body's way of getting out excess emotions and stress.


How much crying is too much, and how can I tell?

There is no for sure checklist that any doctor can give you right off the bat to assess if you are crying too much, but there are several ways for you to tell on your own. It is basically a series of questions that you must ask yourself, and answer truthfully. This can be difficult, but it is very important.

Too much crying can mean too much depression, over-active hormones, anxiety, and in some cases PTSD. It is also important not to immediately think something is wrong with yourself. That would be getting into hypochondriac behavior.

How often do I cry?: If you find yourself crying more than 2 or 3 times a week, this may be a bad thing. If you're going through a very unstable time in your life, take this into account. Crying is important to deal with stress, so don't give your tears a bad wrap. If your life is going pretty good, and you're constantly feeling empty and sad, these are common signs of depression.

How long do I cry?: The average person will shed 121 pints of tears in a lifetime. The average person will usually only cry once every two weeks. Crying can range from a few seconds to hours on end. If you're crying for hours over the loss of a loved one, a break up, or another extremely stressful reason, this is perfectly healthy. However, if you find yourself crying for hours on end over "spilled milk" or petty reasons such as things not quite going your way, you may be overreacting.

Do others comment on my crying?: This can be two sided, but chances are, if multiple people are commenting and telling you that you cry too much (and they seem genuinely concerned), you may be looking at a depression problem.

Is my crying affecting my daily life?: Sit down and evaluate yourself. Is crying getting in the way of completing vital daily tasks, or doing harm to your relationship with your loved ones?

The biggest question of all is, do YOU think that you cry too much? Have you asked yourself this question, and if so, how many times? It's always important to go with your gut feeling. If you think you may have depression, hormone imbalances, etc, see a doctor or a therapist. Don't wait until matters get worse.

What can I do?

- Take part in stress relieving activities other than crying whenever possible. At the end of a hard day, take a bubble bath in candlelight and relax for half an hour before going to bed. Yoga, one of my personal favorite activities, makes a great morning work out for your mind, body and soul as a whole. Work out on a regular basis to release built up endorphins, and to relieve muscle tension that can cause stress on your body, and in turn, your mind as well.

- Visit the links below if you think you may have a depression problem, or other problems that can cause you to cry too much. Review the side effects, causes, and talk to your doctor if you feel you strongly have one of these conditions. Take into account of your age, sex, and what you're going through because stages in life such as menopause or puberty play a big role in messing with emotions. Some people with conditions such as depression can actually lack the "ability to cry". So it's important to know your facts ahead of time.

WebMD: Depression Overview

Menopause

Gelastic Seizures - Seizures that actually make you cry!

Livestrong - Hormone Imbalances

Medicine Net - Puberty

WebMD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Panic Disorders

- Eat foods that help fight depression.

- Talk to a therapist/counselor/close friend. Some people think it can be a little silly, but therapists are there to help you talk about your stress and learn how to manage it daily. Sometimes these things affect our lives and we feel like we've lost control. It helps to have someone there on our sides. Let others know when something is wrong, because talking is highly important.

- Medication: I am personally against promoting medications, but in some cases, medications may be needed to treat depression. This is something between you and your doctor, and it is also something to think long and hard about. Depression meds are among the most dangerous medications out there, and can sometimes do more hard than good. Learn the facts before swallowing any pills!

I hope this article was somewhat helpful to someone. As a survivor of not only Epilepsy, but also depression, I know that there's a point when crying becomes far too constant. I have also been struggling with PTSD, which is a very serious problem that can be easily confused with depression. Although it lies in some of the same categories, they are two very different disorders. God bless everyone with good health, and remember that it's okay to cry sometimes!

Mandy Krzywonski