I haven't posted in a few days for a few reasons. Mostly because I've had nothing but horrible days filled with extreme anxiety for the last week, and I rested a lot. Aside from that, my mother's laptop broke and all 4 of us in the family (minus the twins who are 9) have been sharing the computer... So at one point I didn't even bother to try and get online. Right now I have some me-time so I'm on my Palm Pre Plus leaving you all a quick update until I can steal the computer again.
I believe now it would be about 3 weeks without my Seroquel, and I swear sometimes I feel like I'm going to pass out. My mood levels are all over the place, no matter how I try to keep them under control. When I'm mad, I'm EXTRA mad. When I'm depressed it's unbearable. I try very hard not to show it around the family
because I know they already deal with enough of me as it is. I've managed to lose the
weight that I've gained from the Seroquel alone, but now I'm at that "stuck" point
that everyone talks about. I haven't stopped trying though. Concerning my VNS, I can no longer even feel it when it's stimulating. Nor more vibrating, buzzing, or choking feeling. And, best of all... I can sing again! Not well but almost the same as before the surgery. The stitches came out of the scars so I had to pull them out. I thought they would dissolve like the doctors said, but they didn't. The scars still look really red and gross in my opinion, but so much better than I thought they would. As I posted before, my doctors had taken me down half of my doses for my TRILEPTAL and VIMPAT. My auras or the onset warnings of seizures had started to come back so often that I've gotten scared and I went up to about 75% of the dose I was at to begin with and I'm back at my full dose of Vimpat. I'm not happy about this, but I feel that we tried to come off of my medication too early. I will blog again when I have more time and tools...such as a computer... Haha. God bless you all :)
Nice to see you back here - impressed as ever by the way you are continually extracting the positives and are never afraid to tell it how it really is - must feel good to get that singing voice back!
ReplyDeleteWe've been without an aide for my brain-injured daughter for two weeks. The aide was in a bad accident. Could have been so much worse, she's in therapy, we could have lost her. Today she asks "why me?" Why do some suffer so much more than others? I say it's the strong ones who do. I salute you! You are strong. I don't think I could face what you're facing. Don't give up. Keep trying. Be happy. Things will work out.
ReplyDeleteHave a good rest and blog when you're ready.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments ya'll. I'm sorry to get back to you all so late, I've had a horrible virus ): But I'm pretty much better now.
ReplyDeleteTo Magicdarts: Thank you, I try to look at the positives because it's very hard to overcome things when you're looking at the negatives constantly. I hope you are doing well, I'm going to look at your blog right now, actually!
To Ann Best: I am sorry to hear about the aide. I will pray for her, I know she will be okay. God bless you and your daughter, and you two be strong as well.
To Keats The Sunshine Girl: Thanks for keeping up with my blog, and I'm resting just like you said! Sometimes I forget important things like rest and it can throw my whole life off track.
Happy to see that you have had some time to relax. Having a disability can make you very stressed and tired. Like someone else said above, great job at being positive and keep your lil head up! God bless you Amanda!
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